Of Angels and Hamburgers
by chibiBlues
Summary: Castiel is back and Gabriel has a message from their father that leaves Castiel rather small and in the unprepared hands of the Winchesters. A series of drabbles focusing on the mis adventures involving a Chibified!Cas, Winchester brothers and everybody's favorite Trickster.
1. Of Loki

Of Angels and Hamburgers

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters. They belong to their owners.

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Ch 1 Of Gabriel

Dean was relaxing, something he rarely got a chance to do with leviathans on the loose and other things, with cheap motel cable and a gun cleaning kit. He'd have pie once Sam got back from his food run, but knowing his brother he probably found the one healthy food place in the whole damn town.

"If he comes back with some damn organic shit..."

Dean's rant was cut short by a flutter of wings, causing him to whirl around. There, in the middle of the motel room was Castiel in all his messy glory and, more importantly, alive.

"Cas?"

"Oh, hello Dean."

"What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you, ya know, dead?"

"I got better."

"When did you learn sarcasm? But that still doesn't answer why you're here." Dean paused, "Not that I don't appreciate the visit or anything."

"I am...on the run."

"From what?"

"It is better not to ask."

"Oh Cassie! I know you're in there." A very familiar voice shouted from the other side of the door in a rather sing song tone.

"Is that Gabriel?"

"As I said, it is better not to ask."

"Cassie! Is that any way to treat your favorite brother?" Now Gabriel was lounging in the chair Dean had gotten out of when Castiel had appeared.

"Hello Gabriel." Cas stated, turning his attention towards the tv.

"Dean, old buddy, hows it going?"

"Why are you here Gabriel?" Dean responded angrily.

"What, no hi, hows it going? How'd you come back from the dead?" Gabriel looked offended, "And here I thought we were good friends after I, ya know, DIED for you and you overgrown brother."

Dean glared, "Look, I appreciate what you did-"

"You damn well better. Dieing sucked. But now things have changed."

"What do you mean things have changed?" Dean demanded, getting into the angel's face.

"Man your breath stinks." Gabriel snapped his fingers and Dean disappeared from his face and found himself dropping onto one of the room's two beds, "And Castiel, why don't you share with naga breath whats been happening upstairs?"

"Gabriel I do not believe it is necessary to-"

"Whats going on here Cas? You're back, Gabriel's back. Im really tired of being in the dark here."

Castiel simply shook his head as Dean gave him harsh looks, "I am sorry Dean, but you do not need to become any more involved then you have been." Castiel took steps towards Gabriel, "I will go with you, if that is His wish."

"Who's wish? God's?" Dean asked again, torn between anger and confusion.

"Hit the nail on the head there pipsqueak. Daddy's back." Gabriel took the sucker out of his mouth and leveled a dirty look towards Castiel, "And He's really not happy about all the fighting his kids have been doing. Or how trashed they left his house. How you little shits got into my room I'll never know. But that pisses me off."

"Wait...your room?"

"Dean, do not think to hard about it. It will not end well."

Gabriel nodded sagely at this, "And for a low watt bulb like you, you might fry something."

"Low watt? Why you-"

"Dean, enough. I must go face father's judgment for my actions. If I resist any further, I fear it will not be Gabriel who comes for me and not everyone will be as...pleasant as he has been."

"Like I've always said, angels are dicks."

"Takes one to know one."

"Isn't the saying you are what you eat Gabriel?"

"_You breed with the mouth of a goat."_

"Brother, enough."

"Ah well, time to do my job."

"What do you mean?" Castiel and Dean both a confused look.

"I'm the messenger of God idiots. Man, sasquach really is the brains of this operation. To be honest, Dad has waay more important people and situations to handle the lil Cassie here. So he gave me his judgment and told me to pass it on."

"Well?"

"Don't rush me chuckles." Gabriel smirked, "He says to act your age next time."

With that there was a bright flash of light, much like when an angel is killed, and the flapping of wings. When Dean could finally see, both Castiel and Gabriel were gone.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Dean muttered as he looked around, "and what did he mean 'act your age next time'?"

"Dean..." A small voice came from beside him, "I believe we have a situation."

Dean blinked and looked down, noticing for the first time the child standing where Castiel had been, "Cas?"

"Do not laugh. I am not amused."

Before Dean could respond, the door opened and in came Sam with the food Dean had been craving before all this went down.

"Dean, I'm back..." he trailed off noticing the mini-Cas, "Is that Castiel?"

"Sam, go buy beer. I need one...or twenty."

"Cas, is that-"

"Sam. Beer. Now."


	2. Of Arguments

Of Angels and Hamburgers

Disclaimer: I won none of the characters, they belong to their respective owners.

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Ch 2- Of Arguments

"So God is back."

"Yes."

"And he brought Gabriel and you back?"

"Others were brought back too."

"And he had Gabriel hunt you down and turn you into a kid?"

"Only because I ran. But yes, you are correct."

"Right, and that's because He didn't believe you were acting your age?"

Castiel did not pout, angels don't pout, "I will not pretend to understand Father's methods."

"I see," Sam smirked, "And why wasn't Gab-"

"Sam, unless you want my brother to show up, consume all your food as a tribute, undoubtedly embarrass you for the fun of it and ruin what is left of your night I highly suggest you do not say his name a third time."

Castiel glared. Dean downed his third beer.

"...Okay then. You hungry Cas?"

Cas paused, thinking about it. Sam bit back a laugh at the sight of the angel, who was slightly smaller then the average four year old and had to sit on phone books to make himself level with the table.

See, while Sam was running to get beer for his obviously short circuited brother, Dean had quickly, and with an efficiency that startled Cas for a moment, putting the gun he was cleaning together and stashing it in the room in a place where he could easily get to it. When Sam came back, Dean had snatched the beer out of his hands, grabbed the pie from the food bag, sat with his feet propped up on the table and began devouring the pie, mostly ignoring Sam and Cas' conversation.

"Food would be...okay right now." Cas stated and Sam slid the remains of his salad towards Cas.

Making a face, Cas pushed it back towards Sam, "I said food was okay, not self righteousness. If I wished for that, I would go find Michael in the depths of hell."

Dean laughed, nearly choking on a bite of pie, "Damn Sammy, he got you there."

Sam retaliated with a bitch face as Cas reached across the table and pulled the bag towards him. Once close enough, he quickly sniffed out Dean's hamburger and began eating it.

"Atta boy. Real food.."

"Would it hurt for you two to try something healthy for once?"

Cas swallowed and gave Sam a innocent look, "But this hamburger contains lettuce, tomatoes and onions. All of which are in your...salad."

"But the burger is so soaked with grease-" Sam's counter point was cut off as he disappeared.

Dean was torn between shock and amusement as Cas retracted his hand and continued eating.

"What the hell was that?"

A yelp and a splash echoed from the motel's pool. They sprung for luxury this time.

"It is...unwise to attempt to prove me wrong."

"All knowing and all powerful huh?"

Dean's joke fell flat as Cas stopped eating and hung his head.

"Dean...I am sorry for all that has happened involving Purgatory and my...rise to power. It never should have gotten that out of hand."

Damn Dean felt like an asshole, "Look Cas I was trying to make a joke. You know hehe and haha."

"I understand what a joke is Dean. But that does not excuse my actions."

"Well, then I accept your apology. Besides, it looks like, between God and yourself, I wont even need to say anything about that."

Cas gave a big smile, "I would...like that."

"Did you really zap Sammy into the pool?"

"I was aiming for the deep end. His...gargantuan stature would make the shallow end more painful then necessary."

"But why?"

"He was attempting to prove me wrong."

Dean smirked, "So it was an 'I'm right, you're wrong' thing then?"

"Yes."

"You do realize thats a kid's argument right?"

There was a moment of silence, "I do not know what you mean."

"I mean that-"

Dean blinked as suddenly Cas's hand, in all its ketchup and crumb covered glory, was right in his face. Cas' equally dirty face wore a very serious look, one Dean was barely stopping himself from laughing at.

"It would be unwise to argue with me Dean."


	3. Of Batman

Of Angels and Hamburgers

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they belong to their respective owners.

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Ch 3- Of Batman

By the time Sam made it back to the room, having narrowly avoided the manager, Cas was in the chair he had been in when he had zapped Sam and Dean was sprawled out on the floor a foot from the bathroom door on the other side of the room.

"Did I miss something?" Was all he could ask as he closed the door behind him and moving towards his bag in search of clean clothes.

"He laughed while I was being serious." Cas stated, "He has not stopped either."

"Dean, stop laughing at Cas." Sam said, barely maintaining his composure at the situation.

"Tried. Didn't work. Funny face." Dean managed to get out between laughs.

"C'mon man, he's pouting." Sam tried again, discreetly using his phone to take a picture of the pouting angel.

"I am an angel of the Lord. I do not pout." Cas stated indignantly, his expression an odd mix of pouting and serious.

Dean laughed harder.

Sam joined him this time.

"Okay," Sam started once he was able to regain his composure, "I'm gonna go get cleaned up. Try not to smite him Cas, I know it's tempting."

"That it is." Cas replied as Sam stepped over his brother and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

When Sam emerged he was half expecting his brother to be a pile of ashes on the floor because Cas smited him or just not there and he'd have a few voice-mails on his phone because Cas zapped him somewhere and he needed a pick-up. Sam chuckled at the thought.

"What's so funny Sammy?"

That's when Sam noticed they were both sitting on Dean's bed, with Dean propped up on the headboard sharpening a knife and Cas sitting on the foot, watching cartoons.

Cas' perplexed expression almost made Sam burst out laughing again.

"Looney Toons Dean, really?" Sam said as he grabbed his laptop and settled on the cleared table.

"Didn't feel like getting one of you bitch-faces for picking something 'inappropriate.'" Dean replied, not looking up from the knife.

"I do not understand," Cas interrupted, "why does the coyote continue to order from this ACME if the things he orders are defective?"

"its a cartoon Cas. Its supposed to be funny." Dean groaned, hiding the knife under his pillow and setting the sharpening stone on the night stand.

"And how does the land fall yet the edge of the cliff remains?"

"The coyote has horrible luck. He's like a living Murphey's Law."

Sam laughed quietly as Dean was stuck answering Cas' never-ending questions, idly pulling up the schedule for the cartoon channel they were watching. Batman, that made it clear to Sam the real reason as to why his brother was watching cartoons.

Then he heard a giggle.

Sam turned his head so fast his hair temporarily blinded him, but he was still able to catch Cas's shoulder shaking. On the TV there was a stereotype devil and angel there, and it was making Cas giggle at the obvious misrepresentation. Sam also noticed Dean digging through his bag, quickly coming up with a old AC/DC shirt.

"Cas."

"Yea?"

"Go put this on."

Cas turned, staring at the shirt, "What is wrong with what I am wearing?"

Apparently Dean's patience was running thin so Sam intervened, "What your wearing is the only thing your size we have Cas. So rather then sleeping in them it'd be better to just wear the shirt to sleep in."

"Okay."

Cas stood up, took off his trench coat and folded it. After placing it almost reverently on the bed, he started working on the suit jacket.

"Cas, what're you doing?"

"Undressing."

The suit jacket was tossed haphazardly next to the coat as Cas kneeled and started working on his shoes.

"Not here you're not." Dean stated, tossing the shirt over his shoulder, lifting Cas into the air by his armpits and heading towards the bathroom.

"Dean, put me down." Cas said, squirming.

"Change in here." Dean stated, setting Cas down.

Then he got a good look at the angel's face while he was glaring at him. It was still covered in remains from dinner.

"Dammit Cas." Dean muttered as he grabbed one of the towels and got it wet in the sink before turning back to the now perplexed mini-angel.

"Dean, what are you doing with that?" Cas took a half step back as Dean crouched in front of him.

"Just stay still, I'm just trying to get this stuff on your face." Dean tried to get the food remains, but Cas turned away making Dean miss his intended target.

"I will get it myself. Please stop."

But Dean was in big brother mode and determinedly fought with Cas until he got the worst of the stuff off.

Suddenly Sam's laptop screen flickered and a flash of light caught his eye from the bathroom. Then Dean appeared a foot above his bed and, with a yelp, fell.

"What was that?" Sam asked.

"If anyone asks, we have no idea what happened to the missing washcloth. We know nothing." Dean replied.

"What happened to the washcloth?"

"Cas happened."

Almost as if on cue, Cas stepped out the bathroom. His suit was bunched up in his arms and he stared at the Winchester brothers.

_Click._

Sam and Cas looked at Dean, who simply put his phone on the nightstand with his keys as if nothing had happened.

"Cas, what happened to the washcloth?" Sam asked a moment later.

"I removed it from existence."

"You smited it?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It attacked me. I was defending myself." He glared at Dean and then Sam noticed how clean Cas' face was.

"But you smited it."

"It attacked me." Cas' tone implied that was all he was going to say on the subject.

Dean snorted as he paid attention to the Batman cartoon, "Did you go to the bathroom?"

"I do not need to use..."

"Use the bathroom, you aren't exactly in a normal vessel situation right now Cas." Dean interrupted.

Cas huffed, dropped his clothes on the floor and walked back to the bathroom. A moment later the toilet flushed.

"At least he doesn't need help with that." Sam said, almost wary of the evil look on Dean's face. Apparently this was Dean's revenge for being zapped.

"We'll see what the night holds." Dean said to Sam before raising his voice so Cas could hear him, "Hands Cas. I didn't hear the water turn on."

The water turned on at the same time one of Cas' shoes appeared above Dean's head, dropping and hitting him.

"Ow."

Sma laughed as Cas walked out the bathroom for the second time and plopped down on the foot of the bed, apparently engrossed in the animated adventures of the Caped Crusader. Just like Dean, who was hiding it better.

Three episodes in, Cas yawned.

Six episodes, he was laying down across the foot of the bed.

Eight episodes in he made his way up the bed and fell asleep with Dean's shirt in a death grip.

Sam took a picture, Dean gave him the finger. Dean tried to escape from Cas' grip, but it only tightened. Resigning himself to his fate he reached for the remote to find something a movie to watch.

"Don't you dare watch a porno Dean." Sam hissed.

Dean rolled his eyes, "I wasn't bitch. Trying to find a movie."

"Jerk."

Dean pushed the channel up button but nothing happened. So he pushed it again. He pushed it harder.

"The hell?!" Dean hissed.

"I am still watching that Dean. Do not change the channel." Cas mumbled sleepily, moving closer to Dean.

Dean sighed and put the remote down. There were worse things he could be stuck watching then Batman.


	4. Of Messages

Of Angels and Hamburgers

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners.

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Ch 4 Of Messages

"Aw, ain't that sweet."

"Brother, shut up."

"What did you have a bad dream or something? Why else would you two be all cuddled up like that?"

Dean felt Cas move, something under his pillow shift and the distinctive sound of a knife impacting a wall.

"Shut up."

Dean groaned, "I hope this is a bad dream because I really don't feel like dealing with Gabriel right now."

"No such luck Dean-o. I'm really here."

"Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away." Sam muttered from his bed.

The sound of water splashing and Sam yelping showed what Gabriel thought of that idea.

"I don't think he's going away Cas." Dean opened his eyes to took at the angel.

"I do not wish to deal with him." Cas yawned and burrowed himself closer to Dean.

The eldest Winchester brother looked over at the clock, 8:30am.

"No wonder you're evil right now Cas." Dean muttered, trying to sit up, "Couldn't come later today could you?"

"Nope. Got a lot of stuff to do today. Heavenly messenger and all that. But, I've got a message from up above for you and I was planning to treat my brother to breakfast."

Gabriel was lounging in one of the chairs, eating the largest chocolate bar Dean had ever seen.

"I am not hungry. Perhaps later, at a more reasonable hour." Cas all but growled, not letting go of Dean.

"Cas, let go." Cas didn't, "Unless you want me to carry you to the bathroom with me."

Cas let go, glared at Gabriel, and buried himself into the bed. By the time Dean got out of the bathroom Cas was asleep again, Gabriel had started another chocolate bar and Sam was eying it almost enviously.

"No one thought to keep Cas up?"

"Didn't want to get zapped into the pool again."

"Cassie zapped you into a pool?

"Lets not talk about it."

"Gabriel, why didn't you wake him up?" Dean interrupted.

"Do I look like you Dean? You're the only one he'll listen to."

Dean made a frustrated noise before pulling the blankets off Cas and nudging his shoulder.

"Cas, get up."

Half-lidded eyes stared back before his lips moved and a high-pitched whine echoed throughout the room, making it shake. Sam and Dean covered their ears until Cas stopped.

"Cassie says why?" Gabriel said casually, taking another bite, "If we could get this show on the road sometime soon, that'd be nice."

Dean frowned before grabbing Cas' pants from where the angel had dropped them the previous night, and crouching down to eye level with the angel.

"Sit up." Cas shook his head, "Sit up Cas. I'm not making you walk or anything, just sit up."

Gabriel and Sam shared a look as the younger angel sat up, allowing Dean to put Cas's pants on for him.

"This is weird..." Gabriel whispered to Sam.

"Dean's good with kids." Sam replied, "When he needs to be."

"If you two women are done gossiping about me, I'd like to go get breakfast."

Dean had, in the five seconds that both Sam and Gabriel weren't paying attention, picked Cas up and grabbed his keys. Cas was dozing in and out with his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Sammy, you're driving." Dean tossed Sam the keys.

"Good, lets go." Gabriel ushered Sam out the door and down to the Impala.

A few moments later we find the two hunters, miniature angel, and archangel sitting in the corner of a diner eating breakfast.

"Alright Gabriel," Sam started, having finished his breakfast, "What's this message you've got for us?"

Gabriel smirked around his fork, having somehow gotten chocolate pancakes with chocolate chips and enough chocolate syrup to rot someone's teeth, "I don't have a message for you Sammy. I have one for Dean and one for Cas. But my bag has no letters for you."

"What is Father's message Gabriel?" Cas asked, more like his usual self then he had been for the past few hours.

"What, no Brother? I'm not feeling any love here Cassie." Gabriel half pouted.

"You arrived several hours after I fell asleep. I am...understandably upset. You have yet to re-endear yourself to me."

Gabriel took a second to shove a bite of one of his pancakes in Cas' mouth.

"Andd that brings me to the content of my message Cassie. You see, being little like you are has some serious side effects. No matter how old your memories and all that stuff is, its going to be processed through a child's brain."

"But my grace..." Cas started, unperturbed by the mouthful of food he had.

"Cas, don't talk with your mouth full." Dean muttered, biting into another piece of bacon.

"With your grace, well, its pint sized too. Your mortal form isn't the only thing that shrunk Little Brother. That's part of the reason you were so cranky this morning. Your grace was rather low, making you more tired then you actually were." Gabriel looked at his empty plate and signaled a waitress to bring him another round of pancakes.

"So the more of his mojo he uses, the crankier he gets?" Dean asked.

"Yup."

"And both his mortal and angel form are pint-sized?"

"Is there an echo here because I'd swear I just said that."

"And what's the message for me?"

"This."

A blue and white credit card slid across the table, stopping right in front of Dean.

"A credit card?" Sam asked reaching for it, only to get shocked.

"For Dean only." Suddenly Gabriel gained a very serious look, "And only for the use of getting things, like clothes, for Cassie. Any other use will have me after you. And not in the 'I have a message for you' way."

"I still do not understand what is wrong with my clothes." Cas mumbled, eying Gabriel's pancakes.


End file.
